the big apple

06.03.09:

this summer should be exciting. I’m here with about 40 staff members from around the country, and each of us are part of a track.  The tracks include Campus, Arts, Inner City, and Epic.  The first few days were filled with orientation of the city and the project itself.

For the Epic Track, I am leading one of the Epic specific campus times, and Mei Ling (another Epic staff) and I are both in charge of “fun” time that we are having with the students once a week.

I forgot how much I loved New York.  In many ways it makes me want to move to the east coast.

The housing is great. I’m staying in Herald Towers, which are apts right next to the Empire State building, right in front of H&M, and right next to Macy’s where they hold the Thanksgiving parade.

The thing I love most about NYC is the variety of food. I love food. and the diversity of people here.

more updates to come later..

green

why is it so hard to update blogs? ugh..

it’s may 9.

here is what my summer looks like:

05.23-06.03 : boston with M.

06.03-07.15 : Epic new york city summer project

07.15-08.?? : back in austin.

visit portland sometime in august.

move to los angeles in september.

more updates to come…

i’m excited .

to the cross i look, to the cross i cling…

I spent today reflecting on the significance of Good Friday.  The power and beauty of the cross never ceases to bring me to a place of heartache.  On one hand, I feel the depth and depravity over my own sin, where I grieve over my own selfishness and the price that was paid for it.  On the other end, my heart aches with joy, love, and reverence for the Lord… what greater gift, what greater love is there, that He would give us Life when we deserve death.

“…the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.”     (Matthew 27:51, Mark 15:38, Luke 23:45)

This veil represented our separation from God because of our sin, and only once a year, the High Priest was able to enter past it.  He was to enter into God’s presence for all of Israel and make atonement for their
sins.  In other words, the veil separated the dwelling place of God’s presence here on earth, from the rest of the Temple where men remained.

The picture of this veil being torn in two from top to bottom is so powerful and amazingly beautiful.    After Christ breathed his last breath, it marked the end of the Old Covenant.

The death of Christ is more than just a historical event, but rather it’s a moment that changed our entire relational dynamic with God.  His sacrifice was enough.  The tearing of the veil symbolized that His sacrifice was a sufficient atonement for our sins forever.

How great is that.

“It is finished.”    John 19:30

stop and go…

i’m 24, and this isn’t where i imagined myself to be.  it’s better.

all i know is that in every situation the holy spirit gives me the strength and conviction to surrender my life to Him and walk by faith…it’s another opportunity for me to fall more and more in love with Jesus.

time.

there is a time for everything.

i am looking forward to looking forward, but never forgetting to enjoy today.

La Liberte’ de l’Interieur

Imagine that you are trapped in a box.  It’s dark, there’s no life, no emotion, no relationship.  If you were given a chance to escape this place would you take it?  If you were given the opportunity to search for a way out, would you do everything in your power to find it?

Many of us are trapped in a world of lies, of self centerdness, guilt, shame….of sin.  Some of us don’t know that we are trapped– and if we did somehow come to realize it, we don’t know how to find freedom.

What is your box?  What are you trapped in?  What is keeping you from experiencing the fullness of His love, His grace, His forgiveness, His truth?  Have you found freedom?

These are the questions we ask students after showing a short film called La Liberte’ de l”interieur (freedom within).  It’s about a man who is trapped in a cell.  It’s dark, there’s no life, no emotion, no relationship.  It begins to change when someone slips a sign into his cell with the word “la liberte” on it…and it begins in him a search.  We don’t know if he is aware of what exactly he is searching for, but he’s searching and seeking.  Eventually he finds a way out of the cell, only to realize that he isn’t the only one trapped.  He sees rows and rows of cells before him, and he starts running toward the cells…

As believers, we know that there is freedom and life in Christ.  There’s victory over sin, over shame, guilt…not that we’re perfect, but we live life continually being changed and transformed by the gospel.  Knowing this, what are we doing?  Are we running towards these cells.  Are we running towards these people with the message of Christ?

Are we pointing them to Jesus.

(to check out the film go to http://www.globalshortfilmnetwork.com/films)

umma?!

my mom sent me a picture message the other day of cannon beach. i’m so proud of her.

not just because she can picture message ( although i was thoroughly impressed), but by her strength, perseverance, and wisdom.  i see a lot of moms; working moms, stay at home moms, single moms, moms who have the full support of their husbands, single moms, widowed moms, moms who have 5 kids to moms with newborns.

after  seeing how difficult it is to raise a child, i can’t imagine what it would have been like for her to raise 2 kids- a 4 year old and 7 year old- all by herself.  with no money, no support from family, living off welfare,  and in a country where the language does not flow smoothly out of her mouth.

now being 24 years old, i look back and reflect on how i was raised by a single mom– this woman is amazing.   i am in awe of her strength to persevere.  her motivation to succeed.  to not let circumstances, hardship, or suffering be a barrier to moving forward in life with hope.

my mom gave her life to Christ only 3 years ago.  i can’t help think that everything that she has gone through was  God beckoning her and  leading her closer and closer to Him.  she could not have done it without His strength.  there is no way.

i am so proud of my mom for all that she has endured.

but more than that, i’m so proud to be a daughter of a woman who loves Jesus.

Austin, Texas…ya’ll..(jk, i would never say ya’ll)

man, i realize just how hard it is to keep up this blog. life gets busy and it seems like everything is passing by so quickly..

i’ve been in austin for about 7 months now, and even just after the first 2 months it felt like home.  whenever i was away, i’d wish i was in austin.  although portland is my real home, austin has become the place where i long to be when i’m tired, or busy, or travelling…it’s comfortable here.

here are the things i love about austin (in no particular order)

1. rudy’s bbq: texan bbq is heaven in your mouth.  extra moist brisket, cream corn, and the softest white bread that goes straight to the tummy but oh so yummy.

2. UT basketball games: i’ve been to 3 games and each of those games were against top ranked teams.  amazingly, UT has won each of those games i’ve been to.  they don’t know this, but i’m their good luck charm.  here’s the recap:

12.04.08     #8 UT beats #12 UCLA 68-64  (men’s basketball)

12.14.08    #6 UT beats #7 Tennessee 73 – 59 (women’s basketball): i was so close to pat summit i can smell her mean  sweat. she is mean.

02.21.09      unranked UT upsets #2 Oklahoma 73 – 68 (men’s basketball): amazing game!

3.  i live 2 seconds from campus, so i can take the UT shuttle bus for free to campus, and everything else is usually no more than 10-15 minutes away from me.  other places that are literally 2 seconds away from me include; 24 hour fitness, HEB (grocery store0), bank, coffee shops, hospital, kinkos. all very important.

4. the weather from nov-now. BEAUTIFUL. sunny and not too hot. if it was like this in the summer, i’d live here forever.

5.  the friends i’ve made in austin .

to be continued…maybe…

october newsletter

“Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to thy cross I cling” -Abraham Booth

I walked onto the UT shuttle bus at 8:45am on a Monday morning and began praying; praying for students, praying for the campus, and praying that I would have greater faith and trust in His power to do great and mighty things. Ministry has been such a challenge.  Every decision and every action requires me to put my full faith and trust in the Lord.  I am being reminded continually that I am not capable of moving and transforming the hearts of these students- I, myself, lack the power to do such things with my own strength.  Ultimately, it is God who transforms the heart and soul of these students- and I know this in my head but when it comes to day to day life and ministry, I forget that.  As a woman who has always been driven by performance, I wanted to put in the work and try hard, and then expect results, accomplish something, and in the end find success.

Campus Crusade’s definition of successful witnessing is “taking the initiative to share the gospel in the power of the Holy Spirit, and leaving the results to God.”

My definition of success is different than God’s definition of success. What He values is so different than the things I have been putting worth in.  He uses me to reach the students on campus, but the results are left to Him- the One who is more than able.

So, on this particular morning as I was riding the bus, I surrendered to the Lord, declaring my dependency on Him…and truly believing that God can and will do amazing things through His power.

4 hours later, God used Josh and me to bring a student to Christ.

God is so good and sovereign.  He knows.  His thoughts are higher than mine, His love is stronger than mine…He transforms the lives of these people.  Everyday I have to go to the cross, surrendering my own will and desire to perform well and succeed in the worldly sense.  He moves, He changes, He transforms, He loves, and He redeems.  It’s Him.

What does it mean to trust in the Lord? As followers of Christ, He asks us to put our faith in Him. He promises to give to us abundantly, more than we can ever ask or hope for, and yet we so often turn to our own strengths and abilities in attempts to accomplish what only God can do. So I cling to the cross, trusting that as I obey and walk in faith, He will do great and mighty things in, through, and around me.

We live in a city, a country, a world that so desperately needs the love of Christ. They may not know it, and they may or may not have heard the beautiful story of the gospel yet, but my desire is to ensure that the people that I do come across will hear about the joy, freedom, and life they will find in knowing Him. Cause it’s beautiful. It’s life changing. And I can bet my own life that if they take the risk of searching for something deeper and greater than what this life has to offer…they will find that there is a God who loves them unconditionally, a Father that is eager to extend grace and truth, a Savior that is ready to redeem and restore their hearts…if only they’d grab a hold of this Truth.

I cling to the cross in great expectation.

gig-a-roo

I hope you all can make it out to my first cafe gig in austin. :]